Firstly, to the plumber. Dude, we've had some issues; like the time we had raw sewerage overflow on the drain on the balcony and it took you 3 days to come and fix it. And you came so much later than you said you would. And then for the past 3 days (bad things come in threes by the looks of things) our water has been going off for hours. We really didn't appreciate you coming an hour later than you said you would, when it was dark and you couldn't see what you were doing. And AGAIN, you didn't bring any tools with you. So now we have no water, except for the tiny dribble that comes out of the kitchen tap, and I jazzercised tonight (Dancin' Abs no less) and I would really like to have a shower. And I have to accompany some donors to the camp tomorrow and I'd really like to not be really smelly when we start. (I understand that I might be a bit smelly afterwards, but they will be too.) So, thanks for nothing plumber dude, you suck major eggs.
And secondly, to the guys currently parked directly below our balcony: if you're going to subject us to your crappy "100% hits from the year 2000" album playing on your stereo which is worth three times the value of your car, you could at least do us the courtesy of sticking to one song at a time, and not skipping after 3 seconds from The Vengaboys' "The Vengabus is coming," to "Music" by Madonna, to "My name is" by Eminem. Because that's super duper annoying and I really hate you right now.
Ok, rant over, thanks for that.