Dear Shwarma Man,
I miss the old days, when it was just you and me. When your counter ran vertically up the store, and all you had was chicken or beef and the green stuff mixed in with onions, and garlic sauce, and the nasty pickles and tomato. And I just had to point at the stuff I wanted. I miss those days. Now you're so busy all the time, and your counter is horizontal to the street and you're full of leering men. And you have lettuce and cabbage and other white stuff that isn't garlic sauce. What happened to you man? You used to be so cool. No, I take that back Shwarma Man, you're still the best value in town, and so conveniently located.
You'll always be my go-to guy for nommy goodness.