I flew to Seattle yesterday. Armed with instructions on how to get to my hostel, I jumped on the 174 bus as directed and settled in. After about 15 minutes and not seeing a hint of city, I asked a guy sitting near me how far the stop was. He kindly told me that I was on the right bus going in the wrong direction. Whoops - why am I so crap with directions on this trip??
That was soon rectified when we reached a terminal and I sat down to wait for the right bus, right direction to come along. I hopped on, confirming that the bus was indeed going to Seattle, and took a seat in the disabled/elderly sideways facing area as I couldn't fit in a normal seat with my bag. After a couple of stops a very camp looking man got on and sat half on the seat beside me, and half on the one beside that.
"I like your bag," he said to the lady sitting opposite us, holding a bag that had in giant lettering Macy's New York. "Where did you get it?" "Macy's in New York," she replied. He then turned to the man sitting beside her. "Hello, how are you? What are you doing?" The man ignored him. This is when things got interesting. He then turned his body to the front, and leaned back - not quite touching me, but very close. He started talking into the window. I did have my ipod on (as a preventative measure to avoid having to make conversation!) so I couldn't hear every word, but it went something like this...(italics represent him talking to himself, normal text is him talking to someone in particular)
I wish that man would talk to me. Can't you make him stop doing his crossword to talk to me? I really like her bag, but I don't like Macy's, I much prefer X department store, it's much nicer. It's so much nicer. I got this sweater from Nordstrom's though, it's not as nice. My second wife was easy, because we didn't have to get counselling. My youngest daughter is 8. How much do you want for the car? 1500? With a 10% discount? Let me do the sums on that...The answer is 2500 for the car. How's your cross word going? Where did you get your bag from? Why doesn't he want to talk to me? My youngest daughter is 8 years old.
And on and on it went. He was having a lovely conversation with the window - I don't know if he was pretending to be on the phone or not, but it was just weird. There sure are some strange folk in America.
I made it to my hostel and before too long I made friends with a couple of aussies and poms and after fuelling up on the $5.50 teriyaki chicken meal from a little takeout across the street we hit the bars. I piked around midnight with one of the others and was asleep within seconds, dreaming of strange men that talk to windows.
20 points to the person who knows the subject line (without googling!)